


Shine Bright On Me

by CourierNinetyTwo



Series: I Am Thou, Thou Art I [4]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: M/M, Trans Male Character, Trans!Ryuji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-06-26
Packaged: 2018-11-19 11:20:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11312319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourierNinetyTwo/pseuds/CourierNinetyTwo
Summary: Ryuji is afraid of being in love, but Seiten Taisei is there to make him bare his heart.





	Shine Bright On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Commissioned by sailorscooby!

"How could you not say anything?!"

Ryuji winced as Ann accidentally pulled his hair, her gloved hands covered in bleach. The next pass of the tinting brush didn't hurt as much, but he didn't want to lose his scalp just because she got pissed off. They had only recently gotten back in the habit of doing this after years apart, although Ryuji would never forget the first time in middle school he'd cut his hair short and invited Ann to sleep over, begging her to help him change the color. With an ear out for his mom, they'd both fumbled through the process until things came out kind of orange. 

The second time, Ann brought some toner. 

"Earth to Ryuji." She huffed, tossing the brush back into the bowl. "I'm serious. You talked to Akira on his last day here and didn't tell him?"

Gritting his teeth, Ryuji willed himself not to blush. "It didn't come up. I said I'd visit him down in podunk nowhere-land when I got the chance."

"You're hopeless." After tearing off a sheet of thin, stretchy plastic, Ann started to wrap it around his hair to keep the bleach packed in. "If you're in love with someone, you should at least say something." 

"Not all of us get swept up off our feet by the student council president on an effin' motorcycle." Ryuji protested, crossing his arms and slouching in the chair. "And I did tell him something." 

He caught Ann's raised eyebrow in the mirror, her expression dripping disbelief. "Oh?"

"I told Akira ages ago that I found my place and he had one next to me." He said the last few words a bit faster than the rest, but at least all the syllables were right. 

"That's not a love confession! _Boys_." With a roll of her eyes, Ann stripped off her gloves and hurled them into the trash before pulling out her phone. "I'm fixing this. He doesn't leave until tomorrow afternoon." 

Ryuji's heart thumped hard against the inside of his chest. "What are you gonna do?"

"Let me worry about that." Ann said sharply, turning to walk out of the room with her phone to one ear. "Check your hair in twenty minutes." 

Without anything to do but stare at his reflection, Ryuji felt like a fool. He'd been so close to opening his mouth at the arcade, to grabbing Akira right there and kissing him until the manager booted them out for making a scene, but fear had rooted him to the floor. After everything they had gone through together, after facing down a god and almost slipping away for good, the thought of chaining those three words together still left him shaking.

"Goddamn it." Ryuji hissed under his breath.

He wanted to punch the mirror. There was no one else to blame.

\-- 

Sleeping was impossible. 

Nothing he could think of to wind down had worked. Pushups just pumped him up, a cup of tea left him jumpy, and Ryuji started to wonder if a midnight run might be the cure. He'd fallen out of the habit since leaving the track team, yet there was something liberating about just picking a direction and sprinting until his lungs burned, blood crackling like lightning in his veins. Sure, his leg might kick him for it in the morning, but he already had regrets. What did one more matter at this point?

 _Sakamoto Ryuji._ The voice made him sit straight up in bed, searching for the source even as it boomed between his ears. _Do you surrender your true self with such ease?_

"Seiten Taisei." Ryuji rubbed at his temples, hoping the tension there would ease up. "Long time, no see, buddy. Or hear, whatever." 

 _Answer my question._ Challenge burned in the Persona's words; Ryuji felt it inside his skull like a brand. _The strength of the Chariot lies in unyielding strength and pursuit, the gall to walk into the garden of the gods and devour their bounty. You are either a thief and a hero, or you are nothing._  

Anger ignited in Ryuji's chest like a barrel of gunpowder, his hands clenching into tight fists. "Hey, fuck you. Saving the world's not enough, huh?"

 _It is not enough for you._ Seiten countered coldly, and the fire spreading through Ryuji's limbs was suddenly extinguished. _A true warrior does not let his heart be taken without receiving something in return._  

"Akira can have my heart." Ryuji muttered, kicking away the blankets so he didn't feel trapped by them. "I'm not doin' anything else with it."

 _Cowardice does not suit you._ His Persona's voice was louder now, a thunderclap that echoed itself. _Speak your fears aloud and they will wither in the light._  

For a moment, Ryuji was still, staring at the closed door to his bedroom. It would have been easy to run -- it always had been, keeping him safe as a kid when things were confusing and cruel, at least until Kamoshida made a target of him and tried to take that too -- but what he remembered more than anything, more than meetings at the ramen shop or training together, was the moment Akira had found him in the Velvet Room and reminded him he was worth something. Society's chains held him in a stranglehold since the day he was born, but every time Ryuji found the will to push, he'd felt them grow weaker.

Akira was standing there when he shattered them completely. 

"Shit." Now his eyes were hot, and Ryuji pressed his palms against both of them, steadfastly trying to ignore when they came back wet. "I don't know what to do, man. I missed my shot." 

 _That is not so._ Seiten countered, but his voice was lower now, a rolling bass instead of bone-cracking loud. 

"Look, whatever Ann has set up for tomorrow is probably going to be great, but whenever I look at Akira, I just freeze up! What if I tell him and when he looks at me, he doesn't see--" Ryuji squeezed his eyes shut, so hard he saw colors dance on the inside of his lids. "It's not worth it." 

For a second he was dizzy, but when the sensation passed, Ryuji felt heavy hands resting on his shoulders. He stiffened in surprise, pulling his hands away and opening his eyes, finding himself face-to-face with Seiten. They were both still on a bed, but it was more like a sprawling yellow cushion than his own, the entire room a loud clash of rich colors just like the armor binding the Persona's chest. When he looked around and saw the hazy edges on the furniture, all the pieces suddenly fell together.

"You brought me into the Metaverse?" Deep in his soul, Ryuji knew this was a safe room, even if he had never seen it before. "Is this like your pad or something?"

 _It is only an island._ Seiten replied, although his mouth didn't move when he spoke. _One of many._

"Thanks for the not-clarification." Ryuji chuckled, shaking his head. With all the weird shit that happened in the last year, he wasn't sure where to even rank this. "Looks nice, though."

 _Our desires are mirrored in both body and soul._ A broad palm shifted to cup Ryuji's cheek, framing the whole of his jaw. _Do you not remember what you thought the first time your Persona was revealed to you?_

He had seen Akira's first, an intimidating figure of black and silver, radiating confidence with splashes of blood red. A rogue, a man of guile, but most certainly a man, and when Captain Kidd had followed suit, Ryuji had been so overcome with relief he could barely breathe. In their first fight together, power flowed through him in a way it never had before, and that moment was only eclipsed by that night Seiten emerged, transforming him into someone who could storm the heavens and come back in one piece. 

"You really are me." Ryuji said, quiet but resolute.

Seiten's hand was surprisingly warm, although the contact was comforting. Most of the time he was touched, it was by virtue of someone else's fist, and Ryuji's body ached with that knowledge, starved with it. He grit his teeth, looking through the thick green lens guarding Seiten's eyes, and lunged forward.

The kiss was awkward, but Ryuji knew he wasn't very experienced, and the Persona's face wasn't quite human, so it was the best he could do. His fingers hooked on one of the chains crossing Seiten's body as he felt a smile against his lips, wide and hungry, and that urged Ryuji on, pushing up onto his knees so they were pressed chest to chest. Seiten slid a hand down his back, calloused palm burning a trail through his shirt, and Ryuji wanted to be rid of it, feel that touch for real.

"You got a key for these or something?" He muttered, breaking another kiss to tug at the chains. "Because you've got me super curious now." 

 _No, but such a thing is not necessary._ Seiten's fingers hooked under the hem of Ryuji's shirt and pulled it off, paying no need to the faint scars at the bottom of his chest. _If you willed it, I would be wearing nothing at all._  

"Damn, that's a superpower." It was hard to stay focused on that when Seiten's hands were rubbing down his back, but Ryuji let out a deep breath and suddenly he was touching completely bare muscle, now permitted to explore smooth, dark skin.

He groaned when his ass was grabbed from behind, cursing the barrier of his sweatpants, but Seiten made quick work of those too, tugging them down to Ryuji's knees before he kicked off the tangle of fabric to elsewhere on the bed. Kneeling in only his boxers, Ryuji knew it would make sense to be self-conscious, but that lurch of feeling never came; Seiten wouldn't be touching him if the desire wasn't mutual.

"Sorry I don't look happy to see you." Ryuji quipped, tilting his head to offer the Persona a cheeky grin. "There's not much point in packing when I sleep."

 _You say that as if I cannot sense your urgency._ The band of Ryuji's boxers was playfully snapped against his skin before Seiten started to pull those down as well, letting out a pleased hum at what he found underneath. _Although mine is just as present._

It took a second for Ryuji to figure out what the Persona meant, but a glance down revealed a faint bulge, concealed only by the drape of fabric from Seiten's pants. Drawing his knuckles down the thick column of his stomach, Ryuji made a beeline for it, fingers framing the shape until he could feel the shaft trapped there, hard and ready. For a second, he imagined touching Akira the exact same way, and lust left him breathless.

There had been so many times when he thought about it, especially after they spent a day at the gym and retreated to the locker room. The showers had separate stalls, of course, but the place was too cheap for good curtains, and Ryuji caught a glimpse here and there, especially when Akira had to use the one designated towel to dry his hair. For the first time, he wondered if Akira had been looking back at him, if they had missed each other's eyes by fractions of a second, off by a single heartbeat. 

When they had gone to the bathhouse together, he could have gotten a really good look, but didn't want to assume and turn the bond between them to ice. Ryuji knew Akira at least liked men somewhat -- he'd bragged about it to a Shadow that tried to find out his taste in women -- but beyond that the lines blurred. It was just so much easier to look up porn on his phone and jerk off than consider losing his best friend over a misunderstanding.

 _Ryuji._ Seiten's voice smashed that train of thought to pieces, and Ryuji realized his hand had been moving in slow strokes, teasing with no actual hope of relief. _There is nothing to fear in this place. Every desire can flourish in a dream._

"Is that what this is?" He asked with a laugh, then gave Seiten's pants a hard tug, jaw dropping a little at the sight of his uncovered cock, now straining up towards his stomach. "Guess I better take advantage while it lasts."

Ryuji shifted down the bed a little, kissing across Seiten's chest before making a path lower, but he didn't make it more than a few inches before the Persona pulled him up again with a _tsk_ , brow raised in silent disapproval.

"Am I doin' something wrong?" Under that stoic stare, his face flushed red.

 _This is about your own pleasure._ Seiten emphasized the words by taking a hold of Ryuji's hips, giving them a firm squeeze. _You need not satisfy me first to take it._

"Okay, sure, but how are we supposed to--" He was cut off by those same hands sliding back down over his ass, spreading the cheeks wide before one of Seiten's fingers prodded against the tight ring of muscle between them. "Oh, fuck."

Ryuji would have chalked up the cool sensation that followed to some glitch in the Metaverse if not for the fact that Seiten's fingers were now covered in something slick, and that lubrication was all it took for one of them to start pushing inside him. He grunted, shifting forward to keep his balance, and that pressed Seiten's cock right against his stomach. There were a few drops of precome beading at the tip, and Ryuji had to spend the burst of energy thrumming through him like a live wire somehow, so he spread the beads of white across his fingers and started to stroke Seiten from head to base, looking up to hold his gaze.

 _Move against me._ Seiten rumbled, starting to ease in a second finger as Ryuji willed himself to relax, letting out a shaking breath. The Persona was huge, and that made almost everything in proportion, leaving him full and gasping by the time Seiten sank to the last knuckle. 

He registered the words a moment later and tilted the angle of his hips, bringing where he was hard and wet right against Seiten's shaft. The friction was immediate as Ryuji started to grind, keeping his hand moving while Seiten's fingers began to thrust, keeping his body flush against that wall of muscle while pleasure shocked him from head to toe. Everything was heat and the crackle of ozone, his strength meeting Seiten's while hands and hips moved in unison, eyes locked like they were daring each other to break first.

"Man, you're dripping everywhere." Ryuji whispered, scraping his teeth over Seiten's collarbone, although his breath hitched a bit at the next thrust forward.

 _And you are slick down to your knees._ Seiten answered, his low growl resounding through Ryuji's head, but the words just made him burn hotter. They were both so close, and he wanted to ride that bleeding edge until he didn't even know his own name. 

A rough curl of Seiten's fingers and the matching jerk of Ryuji's hips forced him over the edge, crying out as he felt a heavy twitch through the shaft wrapped inside his hand. The movement was instinctive, trying to make Seiten orgasm while he could barely think, and knew he succeeded when hot strands of come dripped down his stomach, catching in dark curls sticky with sweat and arousal. The world was a white blur until Ryuji figured out how to breathe again, every nerve in his body drenched in a heat like molten gold. 

"God _damn_." He was still breathing hard, but it felt amazing, like he had just broken a new mile record. Hell, with this kind of workout, it might replace running all together. "You know how to cheer a guy up."

 _We are only getting started._ Seiten said, then slowly withdrew his fingers. Ryuji shuddered when they left him completely, but the promise of more stopped any complaint. _Move onto your back._  

It didn't take a genius to figure out was what coming next, so Ryuji tossed himself back against the plush cushion, stretching out before he glanced down at the mess on his stomach. Out of curiosity, he swept up the fluid and put it to his lips, but it didn't really taste like anything, even while sticking to his tongue. Ryuji supposed that made sense; Seiten's mouth didn't have much of a taste either, just a solid presence that responded to his touch.

He had to take a deep breath when Seitan kneeled between his legs, the position making their difference in size that much more obvious. Akira wouldn't be any bigger than him; if anything, Ryuji knew he had broader shoulders, although the light heel in Akira's thief shoes always made him half an inch taller. Still, he planned to take this all the way, and Ryuji smiled up at his Persona, unsurprised that Seiten's cock was already back in full force.

One thick finger teased against where it had entered before, but Ryuji was ready for it this time, and watched as the head of Seiten's shaft moved to replace it, muscle flexing along powerful thighs before a controlled push renewed that pressure, so much more intense than the first push. The same cold sensation jumped across his skin in the moment before Seiten eased the first inch or so inside him, and Ryuji groaned, hands clutching at the bed because he simply had to hold onto something. It didn't hurt, but it was just so _much_ , and he was trembling by the time Seiten sank to the last inch, the weight of Seiten's balls resting against the curve of his ass.

"Goddamn." He muttered again, except it was breathless this time, lost to a sort of awe, but when Ryuji saw Saiten silently smile, he rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Cocky much?" 

 _I am what my wielder makes me._ The Persona replied, and then he began to move.

Ryuji's next comment died to a throat-deep gasp, followed by a groan as Seiten's hands braced down against either side of his head, giving the leverage for slow, deep thrusts. Pleasure rippled up Ryuji's spine with every roll and wave of Seiten's hips, but he wanted things to move along faster, and encouraged it by reaching between his own legs, finding where he was slick and swollen and pressing with the flat of his palm. Every time the friction dragged upward, Ryuji made a sound between his teeth and clenched tight around Seiten, who let out a roar of ecstasy inside his head.  

It felt mindblowing, and while Ryuji knew it was just technically his _mind_ that was being blown, every inch of his body said otherwise. He grunted with every deep thrust as the pace quickened, looking up into Seiten's visor while stroking himself closer and closer to orgasm, moving his hips to meet each push forward until the tension was too much to bear. White-hot pleasure swelled from the pit of his stomach and spilled under his skin, release coming with a desperate cry before Ryuji felt Seiten come again too, flooding him with a different sort of heat.

 _Again._ The Persona growled before Ryuji could even catch his breath, and he found his ankles hooked up over muscled shoulders a moment before Seiten's rhythm resumed, refusing to let the peak of pleasure fall more for more than a minute.

"Oh, fuck, _fuck--_ " Ryuji felt his back arch, only to be pinned down against the bed away when Seiten thrust forward hard, bliss resonating through him all over again. "Nn, Akira..." 

Embarrassment hit him a second later, moaning that name when Seiten was definitely not the man in question, but the Persona didn't miss a beat, moving with the same deliberate insistence. _Think of him if you choose. You cannot be jealous of yourself._  

That was perfectly logical, which would have been great if he was anything but bent in half by a punk-styled god right now, but Ryuji could only laugh. Every sound he made was one of joy and need cleaved together, his third orgasm approaching faster than the first two. Sweat dripped down his brow, lungs tight with every breath from exertion, but Ryuji endured until Seiten wrenched one last release out of him, leaving the muscles in his thighs quivering, hips bucking upward until the drain of pleasure took its toll, leaving him an exhausted mess against the bed. 

"Wait, was this all just to get me to sleep?" Ryuji mumbled under his breath, shivering a little when Seiten pulled out and left him empty.

 _Tricksters rarely have a single motive, boy._ Seiten's laugh was a warm rumble over his tired thoughts, kind but satisfied. _You should know that better than anyone._  

He closed his eyes for just a few seconds, but when they opened again, Ryuji found himself back in his own bedroom. A trick of the head or not, he was now utterly worn out, and was about to turn over to sleep when his phone buzzed. Seeking it out on the bedside table with a curse, he held the bright screen up over his face and squinted to read the message displayed across it. 

 _Don't forget to meet me at the van early tomorrow. We're picking Akira up to drive him home and I want you to be the first face he sees._ Ann punctuated the words with an emoji of two guys holding hands, followed by a heart. _Just try and take the leap, okay?_

"A leap, huh?" Ryuji dropped his phone back onto the table and wrapped himself up in the sheets, eyes falling shut once more. "That asshole better know I love him."

Tomorrow, he'd just have to say it out loud. 

\--

 

 


End file.
